Now that I'm writing this novel, I feel like I'm channelling the spirit world which is doubly funny because most of my characters are dead. The story keeps evolving as their voices tell me about their past, present and future. I'm not sure if I'm in control of it all at the moment, but I don't really care because it's exciting and I'm enjoying the ride. I have to trust the process and not worry about whether the plot, the style, the symbols, the motivation-reaction units, etc. are all going to come together. Eventually they will, if I manage to maintain my enthusiasm, strengthen my resilience and build my endurance. I know I'll learn new stuff with each step of the process.
If only I can stop my kids' voices getting into my head while I'm trying to write. I think I need to get an iPod so I can block them out. Sometimes I shut myself in my bedroom and do my first drafts longhand with an HB pencil in my spirax notebook (which I'm petrified of losing). At night, when they're hopefully asleep, I tap away on the keyboard while my partner watches television next to me. He and the TV are much easier to ignore than the kids. It's a good thing I grew up in a noisy household, because I learnt to block my family out and retreat to a world of stories—such an important part of life. Fiction versus reality; sadly fiction wins a lot of the time. I'm a born escapist.
When I'm doing the first drafts I have to tell that nasty voice of self doubt to shut up, and just let the words flow. Often the writing is shit but there is always something there to work with on the rewrite, which I find the most creative and fulfilling part.
I've wanted to write since I was a kid so I'm getting a huge buzz out of learning all this amazing stuff.
Cheers,
Annie T
Thanks, Annie. It is helpful being able to ignore noise, isn't it? I know I found my years in the lab, surrounded by noisy instruments, taught me how to shut out the noise, and I can write on regardless of what's going on around me. To a point. Kids have a way of demanding attention -- whether it be that tug on your sleeve or doing something dangerous to get your attention.
ReplyDeleteI think most writers can certainly identify with the nagging voices of doubt. And it's that voice that says that often the writing is shit, but the beautiful thing is you have something to work on, to improve, and that there's plenty still to learn -- for all of us!
Tracey